Do This...Until There's Nothing Left

To be sovereign.

To be in control of your own emotions. Of your own life. Of your own responses to life.

That’s the goal, isn’t it?

That’s the brass ring. The top of the mountain. The end all be all.

And we’re born with that ability.

But we forget it.

Life comes along and rips us from the womb and begins teaching us guilt, shame, NO! NO! NO! (after the cooing is over, that is).

Don’t do that!

Don’t sit there!

Don’t talk back!

Don’t! Don’t! Don’t!

The thoughts and ideas that we’re wrong because we want the cake before the steak or that we MUST be quiet when, indeed, we have a fuckton of shit to say drown out our sovereignty and push us back into submission.

Into repression of our own innate ability to know what is right and best for us.

Granted, some of that shit we did need to learn, but we didn’t need to learn it through shame or guilt. And the resentment that came with all of that? Was just the icing on the cake that we didn’t order.

Yet, no one knew to teach us that it was okay to feel those feelings.

So now, large fries, whole pizzas, social media/phone addictions, distilleries and plugs (IYKYK) continue to suppress the emotions that we still so desperately need to feel.

It’s enough to make you want to give up doing the Great Work…to stop wanting to fight the demons and just succumb to them. Let them have their fills of us. Let them ravage us and take everything that remains because there’s no more fight left in us.

But there is.

Feel the pain.

Let it lap at your soul.

Cry out for the parts of you that KNOW sovereignty. That KNOW your path back to you…sans the bullshit baggage you’ve been carrying.

They’re in there.

They know you’re ready.

But you have to remember one thing…

Sovereignty. To be sovereign

…

Is a life-long, minute-by-minute battle until it’s not.

You just have to keep reminding yourself that you are still in there. And slip-ups don’t make a fuck. They don’t make you not worthy of uncovering your long-lost claim to sovereignty.

In fact, the mere habit of waking up, day after day to go to war with yourself, is a win, even if it is a loss.

Today may not have looked that much different than yesterday, but if you come today to 5 years ago, I am willing to lay some Pappy Van Winkle on the line to say you would see someone who is winning, who has been winning all along.

You want your sovereignty?

Decide you will have it.
And then fight like hell to get it.
And never once say to yourself that you failed.
Because as long as you continue to fight, you can’t fail.

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