7 Things Your Ideal Doesn’t Want to See in Your Copy

They click and then two seconds later – they click away.

Because your copy didn’t warm and caress their hearts. They didn’t feel any connection to you or what you’re selling.

And here are 10 things that savvy ideals don’t want to read in your copy or in your social posts:

I. 
They don’t give 2 sh**s about you and if you start your copy with “I.” They know you also don’t give 2 sh**s about them. Connection-seeking, abandoned. You’ve lost them. “I am the coach who takes her clients to new levels. My clients all say that before me, they didn’t think coaching was really a ‘thing’. “ You get the idea. “I”, “my”, BYE. 

The Fix: 
Use “you” waaaay more than you use “I”. In fact, if you can structure your copy to read like a narrative? THAT’S even better. Because “you” is great, but working with less of it, too? Is powerful storytelling (read: profitable).
 

2.
Transformation Coach. 
Yeah, that horse died 12 centuries ago. Transformation, coach, guru, change agent, blah blah blah…industry jargon has no place in your copy and those words are not the switches that turn the brain on. In fact, there’s a study somewhere, I should look it up again, that says, “the more we read certain words, the LESS likely we are to respond” because our brains SKIP over them. They don’t even want to see them anymore. And if your brain is skipping words, your readers are not absorbing the emotion your copy should be exuding.  

The Fix: 
Find yourself a title that accurately describes what you do, so you appeal to their sense of hope immediately.
 

3.
Bullshit. 
Your ideal is smart. Don’t try to f**k with her by trying to convince her she’s going to drop 4 sizes by journaling her way skinny. Or that your pill is the last diet pill she’ll ever need. She’s not going to hang around to read the rest of the crap you’re throwing. 

The Fix: 
Keep your words on the level. Seriously. Nothing, I mean, NOTHING, will lose years off of your progress like dishonesty and unethical behavior. If it’s not true, don’t say it. (Caveat: Note the difference between exaggeration for effect/interest/entertainment and promises of grandeur.)
 

4.
A Deep Void. 
Don’t try to sell a $12,000 package with four lines of copy saying you’re going to meet on Skype weekly to help support her goal to become the next JK Rowling. Sales need emotion. Emotion that is backed by trust. You must fill the void of doubts with those two things before expecting any PayPal notifications. 

The Fix: 
Take the time to paint the picture that’s in their chest. Put their pain out there. And show them you’re the band-aid. And that you’re actually THE band-aid and not a secondhand, bloodied leftover picked up off the street. Show them how much people love working with you. Let them FEEL the pain of the problem AND the pleasure of the solution.
 

5.
Jargon. 
She doesn’t want to read “financial reports”, “end of the month projection”, “SWEAT equity” in your copy. She’s looking for art and you’re handing her a tech manual for assembling IKEA furniture. Cut it out. 

The Fix: 
Use words she uses. Use words that convey the feelings you’re shooting for in her…verbally ask yourself, “is there a better emotion I can express for her?”)
 

6.
Half-ass Bullets. 
If he hasn’t bounced yet and has gotten to your sales page, where you dutifully (in your best dry toast voice) cranked out every single feature of your product or service, but accidentally left of any hint of a benefit, well…he won’t be inclined to buy or book because he doesn’t feel the full affect of what would actually change in his world if he invested in himself with you. 

The Fix: 
Create the vision in his mind’s eye of what life is going to be like with each individual bullet. Make it a whole ass bullet.
 

7.
Walls. 
When your ideal lands on your page and he or she is faced with the Great Wall of China of copy, overwhelm sets in faster than the leg cramps they get when thinking of walking said Wall. And following overwhelm? Is that dreaded *click* back to Google.com.

The Fix: 
Break the text up aesthetically. Breaks and images, sections…they are all essential parts of your site’s copy. 

You learned paragraphs need three sentences. I get it. Unlearn it. Online, it is perfectly acceptable to not even write words, so I’m kinda a sure they wrote a new rule book somewhere that said you CAN make one sentence paragraphs, if you need to.
You want your ideal to see and read your words with fire and passion. Give good copy so they stay, begging for more.